My return at home after my holidays has not been as I expected or planned. Unexpected things only happen when they are not considered and in this respect they were planned to be unexpected.

On my way home I was thinking to empty my luggage in the kitchen, where my washing machine is located. I wanted to clean all the clothes I had in it and then reach my single room at the fourth floor. When I opened the main door no one was at home, as I knew my only housemate was working  that night. It took me less than few minutes before I transferred with a big hug all my clothes from the luggage to the washing machine. It was when I added the washing powder that I thought that cleaning also the clothes I was wearing in that  moment would have been something useful to do. So I managed to do it without a second thought. I was naked when I turned on the machine that started its own noise. Happy with my first thing all done I was approaching the stairs when just in front of me a man appeared  from the basement. I did not expect anyone from any place to materialize in that specific moment in front of me if that was not clear to the reader. He was my new housemate who just thought that somebody might have been in the kitchen. Unfortunately it happened to be me to confirm his assumption in a way that both of us did not expected. I was naked in front of a man who happened to be in the kitchen because of a noise.  We could not hold our mutual embarrassment. He didn’t know where to watch, even if thinking retrospectively, he could have at least pretend to look at the washing machine which was big enough to distract from my presence. I personally knew where to watch as I looked at myself and covered like a graph parenthesis my genitals with my arm. I don’t think that was very effective to the real cause, but at least I did not have an apple to induce him to the sin. I don’t think he was thinking about paradise or apples or something celestial. He was red as an apple and maybe this is why I am mentioning apples. It was for sure the most an embarrassing unpredictable noise that he could expect. As for me, I have got a new housemate.

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Faccio stand up comedy in Inghilterra ed è in questo spazio che ho iniziato a scrivere e a sperimentare testi comici


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